Faith: A Lamp For My Feet

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Erin Lawrence

Do you ever feel like your life has gotten just plain crazy?! I know I do! Sometimes it feels like I’m on cruise control, and life is just passing by. My husband, Jeff, and I have been married for almost 15 years and we’ve been together for nearly 20. We have challenges like most couples as we try to navigate through this thing called marriage.  And, at the same time, we are also figuring out how to live our lives for the Lord. I have to be honest, though, at times it’s even more of a struggle….

Screen Shot 2020-08-04 at 12.14.57 PMI ask myself the questions… Are we raising our boys to be Godly Christian men? Are we serving others as our Father wants us to? The answers are surely not always clear. But we are a work in progress and I know I want to continue to be better. Not better just for my family, but most importantly, better for my Father in Heaven. I truly believe when we open our eyes and ears to God’s words, what I like to call “God winks,” we may just be enlightened to what He wants us to see and hear and be more open to His guidance. 

Screen Shot 2020-08-04 at 12.15.30 PMThink of one of the worst things that could happen to a family pre-pandemic? Do you have some thoughts in mind? Well, in November, one of our biggest fears came true… my husband, Jeff, lost his job. Being the man of the house and losing his job was a huge blow to his self-esteem and really caused depression to set in. When March hit and the Covid stay-at-home orders came out, things became even more stressful, as you can imagine. Not only did Jeff have the worry of finding a job, but now we were both at home, not working, and trying to manage virtual learning on top of that! Unfortunately, during this time we did not leap into the Bible and trust what God’s Word told us. Instead, like many other people, we were in a slump and wallowing in our fears and uncertainty for what the future may bring.

Screen Shot 2020-08-04 at 12.16.05 PMOne day, while consumed in self-pity, I decided to go sit on the front porch to be by myself, as I needed a little self-care time. So, drink in hand, I stepped out my front door and looked down to see an Amazon box sitting at my feet. My immediate-reaction was anger. I thought to myself, “What did my husband buy?? We have no money for Amazon!!” I hesitantly opened the box, but to my surprise what I found was a Bible. Before I even took it out of the box I thought, “Who in the world knows that I am in this deep, dark place and in need of our Heavenly Father’s Words right now?” I slowly took it out of the box and studied it’s crisp structure, black as onyx.  As I gently opened up my new Bible in order to flip through the pages, I was suddenly hit with a HUGE surprise.  To my astonishment, money fell out onto the front porch! I was in total shock! On the inside cover the following words were written and highlighted: 

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path”

Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

Screen Shot 2020-08-04 at 12.16.35 PMI continued going through the Bible only to discover additional highlighted passages, along with even MORE money strategically placed throughout. I couldn’t believe my eyes! “Who? How?” is all I could think of at that moment. I mean, who could be responsible for this remarkably, kind gesture? No, not just a gesture, but a “God Wink” like this? I called my husband outside to the front porch, and we sat in awe over the scripture that was highlighted and the money that kept tumbling out of all the pages. Can you believe that $2,500 was pressed in the pages of this Bible?!! Yes! You didn’t misread, I said $2,500 was gifted to us, and there was no name, no return address, nothing… 

To this day, we still don’t know the secret person or group that gave so much to our family when we were in such desperate need. Maybe it was a message reminding us that God is there with us even in our suffering. What a teaching moment for our family! My boys were in awe that someone would help us out in such a significant way.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)

Screen Shot 2020-08-04 at 12.17.21 PMThis amazing story is not about the money, which did help our family significantly, but more so about the Lord ALWAYS providing, even when we don’t see it.  What this random act of kindness did for me and my family was that it showed us to always listen to God and to read His word. Through doing that, He will always guide us toward salvation as His word is “a lamp for our feet.”  I am working on my relationship with my Father and I am a work in progress each day, as we all are. I want my children to grow in their relationship with Christ and know that living for God is the only life worth living. More than anything, my husband and I want them to know that the One who is always with them is the One who knew every hair on their head before creation, Yahweh, God!

2 thoughts on “Faith: A Lamp For My Feet

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